I’m torturing myself and my team with our online meetings. Help!

Dear Tortured,

It’s a brave new world for every leader - even those who’ve done a lot of work with remote teams. My team and I hear from many leaders wondering whether they have the skills and ability to lead at a distance. You may not have the skills...YET. You haven’t done this before! This is an opportunity to learn, practice, and grow.

Humans need connection. Virtual connections are like breathing through a straw. You survive, yet breathing takes more work and is not very comfortable. Today, everyone’s real world connections are significantly crimped. 

So, what’s a leader to do? 

Start doing whatever is going to get you the outcomes you used to get from what you used to do.

In other words, you won’t get to success doing the same things you used to do now that you’re online or six feet apart. You need to change what you do to get the results - the engagement and teamwork - you were getting before. 

Tortured - many leaders struggle with online meetings. The good news is small changes in how you run the meetings can make a big difference.

Here is a two-step process you can do, starting today:

1. Move Out of the Spotlight

The default mode of organization for leaders and teams looks like this:

Genius with helpers.png

Most interactions here are between the leader and each individual. People huddle around the leader to get guidance and support when the way forward isn’t clear.

There are no interactions and little engagement between members. This mode is effective when the leader is present, or when a number two in command steps up to fill a void. 

How many of your meetings do you do all the talking? How often are folks looking to you for direction?

More effective is for the leader to step to the edge, encouraging people to build connections with each other looking like this:


leading others black.jpg

You’re still connected and team members connect to each other too. Your team becomes resilient and able to deal with challenges if you can’t be there.

Here are some ways you can step out of the middle to join the circle:

  • Encourage everyone to add to the conversation at least once at each meeting - “What do you think about that, Lesley?” “How does that sound to you, Michael?”

  • Ask everyone to have their video cameras on and faces lit so we can see their expressions - emergencies and interruptions excepted, of course

  • Organize your meeting around a central spreadsheet with key metrics and have people assigned to provide the updates to each item

  • Along with the quick updates people share, ask them “What roadblocks are in your way? What could make a difference in moving forward?”

2. Deliberately build deeper connections between people

In “real life,” people connect constantly. A glance and a smile across a table. A near miss encounter coming around a corner. An eyebrow flash saying “Good to see you.”

If you’re able to be physically present with your coworkers right now, these informal connections have a chance of happening. The connection is a bit reduced as they happen with a mask or plexiglas shield in place. 

If you’re remote and running meetings with people in small boxes on a screen, informal connections won’t happen without deliberate effort. 

Try these ideas to augment the normal report-in, problem-of-the-week drill we’ve gotten used to:

  • Ask a deeper connecting question or two and send everyone into breakout groups of 3 to discuss their thoughts. Give them 15 minutes and send reminders to switch every 5 minutes. When people come back, ask everyone to write a short answer or highlight in the Chat. (If this feels like gibberish, we can help - see offer below) If there’s a pattern or something special, ask a person or two to share more out loud.

  • Use breakouts to understand a thorny business challenge - again, keep the groups to 2-3. Everyone captures their ideas simultaneously on a shared document. When you come back, encourage clarifying questions (no solutions!) and then if possible, have people indicate which ideas are the most important.

  • Break up your meetings. We know connecting on Zoom takes longer.  People need more time online to really connect with one another than we’re used to in person - about 50% longer on average. It may take shorter meetings at a greater frequency to do the work. 

Tortured, we know keeping people engaged online is not easy. Whether you’re wondering what to ask so you can stop doing all the talking, or to learn how to use Zoom to run a meeting people enjoy being a part of, we can help. Get started by setting up a 20 minute, no-strings-attached supportive conversation with one of our Advisors. We look forward to connecting.

PS. Sign up for this week’s Conversation Among Leaders conversation on Thursday, July 30th. We’re talking about how to Preserve Your Culture (Remotely).