Dear Sensing Tension,
We’ve been talking to a lot of leaders about unusual behavior from their team members. It’s tempting to point the finger at individuals who really ought to shape up, right? But you know it’s probably more than that.
While finding fault is certainly one approach you can take, poking holes in the stories you’re telling yourself about what’s going on can be a more effective place to start.
In the before-times, December was usually full of unusually high levels of stress. Holiday planning and parties demanded time and attention. Employee appreciation was a must. And celebrating the success of this year while looking forward to next year was a motivator that got most people moving in the same direction as the year came to a close.
Unfortunately, this year is not normal, again. Many are still unsure of how to gather, unsure of how to celebrate, and unsure of what’s coming next. In times of uncertainty, people tend to circle up and pull in their resources with their own best interest in mind. (Toilet paper stockpiling, anyone?)
We often coach both leaders and managers within our client organizations. Some people have privately shared concerns like:
I’m not sure I can be successful here anymore.
I want this job, and I don’t see a path forward for me.
With constant change in the organization and from the top, I’m just really stuck.
Will I even have a job this time next year?
We encourage direct communication of these concerns to the top leadership - and we know in other companies worries like these often aren’t heard broadly.
As a leader, helping people get clearer about what’s really happening and what’s possible - in a safe and supportive way - can help. Calling out exhaustion, uncertainty, and fear can create a collective deep breath. The way leaders communicate about what’s next can improve sense of belonging, purpose and confidence in knowing where we are headed.
Here are three conversation points you can have with your team as you encourage everyone to move in the same direction for 2022:
1) Ask ‘What’s the first thing we would notice that would let us know we’re on the right track?’
When problem solving, it seems efficient to start with what’s not working. However, doing so often leaves people feeling exhausted and unsure of how to be successful. We know something’s not working, and don’t know how to fix it. If we had an answer, we would have tried that already, right?
A simple reframe can re-energize and move people from a low mental state to a higher mental state. Start with the question, ‘What’s the first thing we would notice that would let us know we’re on the right track?’ Brainstorm what you would see, hear, and notice in the ideal situation.
Then, ask the team, what can we do, today, to work towards that great end state. See what baby steps can be uncovered and break down the to-dos into measurable milestones.
When one person lights up, or starts speaking with excitement, follow up and ask ‘And what else?’ Get all the ideas out on the table - especially from the quieter members of your team. If one person isn’t up to participate in the group, circle back and privately explore what they are thinking, and what may be holding them back.
2) Wrestle with complexity
When doing this work with a team, you’re bound to come up against the ol’ “Yeah, but …” statement. This classic response can clue you in to frustrations your employees are having. If you’re hearing this, on another sheet of paper or document get all of the “Yeah, buts” out on the table. This step helps people be and feel heard, and to know their ideas matter.
At the same time, complicated problems can require complicated solutions. It’s easy to get bogged down by the “If-then” and “We can’t because…” comments from people not wanting us to fail.
We often remind leaders that struggling is part of the process. Coming at solutions from multiple angles and with varying perspectives strengthens your solutions. The tension in the middle is often where the magic is found.
Call out the complication and praise the wisdom in the room. If possible, be curious about what’s under the surface so if there are underlying concerns, those get surfaced as well. We need all our brilliant minds to help us come to informed decisions.
Which brings us to …
3) So, what could we do next?
It’s your job, then, to remind your team of where you can be headed together. Ask the team, what could we do next, in the next 30 days, and start there. The pandemic has taught us there is no right answer in decision making. There are simply decisions. How can you minimize negative impacts and maximize positive ones? What action can you take that’s connect to question number one?
As a leader, you have both a responsibility and an opportunity to harness the creativity on your team and move away from critical finger-pointing and toward collaborative problem solving. It’s likely you don’t work with incompetent people. Chronic stress and uncertainty cause us all to act a little less than ideal at times.
If you can acknowledge the challenges of the time, celebrate your current accomplishments, and move from critical to curious with a willingness to experiment, you’ll start 2022 in a much stronger place.
We know things are still so uncertain, and leaders are struggling. Let’s find a time for a conversation to explore what great could look like for you and your team in 2022.
Best wishes for an abundant holiday season for you, your team, your family, and your organization.
