This past February, our company hit a milestone - we have supported leaders and teams to work together better for two decades. And to celebrate, we are sharing the Top 20 lessons we have learned along the way in a two-part series.
The first ten lessons reflected on Organizations and Leaders. Here are the second ten lessons, focused on Teams and Individuals. We hope these learning reinforce your own leadership journey, or perhaps provide other perspectives to consider:
Teams
11. Everyone needs to be safe to move forward, and the leader plays a special role in enabling everyone’s safety
Google’s Aristotle Project studied hundreds of teams to find out what made them effective, and found the most important quality to be psychological safety - the ability for people to be real and vulnerable together. If even one person shows up to a meeting figuratively armed with armor and a sword, everyone else will begin to feel unsafe. However, when the leader steps into the danger and demonstrates the reason for shared vulnerability, team members can stack all their armor in the corner, be real, and move forward together in a significant way.
12. Peer leadership is the most needed and least mastered skill
This lesson is connected to another: Lesson 3 - Most of the opportunities in organizations are between the functions. Most leadership development programs reinforce authority, teaching how to lead up “Doing ok, boss?” and lead down “Doing ok, team?” Yet the most important leadership skill doesn’t require any formal authority - leading sideways to build team capability. When team members care enough to share their perspective with and support their peers, everyone wins because solutions work for the organization first. And when a team member who leads sideways gets promoted, the rest of the team appreciates having a leader they already know cares about them and the bigger picture.
13. Everyone is doing their best, even if it’s clearly apparent they are not
When a team member is upset, or frustrated, or simply not doing what I know they are capable of, I’m reminded of this phrase from Thomas Leonard, one of my first coaches. By providing space for people to be themselves, make mistakes, and recover from them gracefully, the entire team can be more risk-taking, resourceful, and resilient. Allowing people to be less than perfect allows everyone to be the best human they can be.
14. Often what looks like a lack of willingness is a lack of knowing how to do something
It’s easy to forget the initial failings and struggles we had before we came to our current state. Because of this, many leaders assume when people don’t do something that they are unmotivated or unwilling. More often than not, the person is actually being held back by not knowing how. Smart leaders start by being curious about what people know and then explore what they don’t before diving into what’s working and not around motivation.
Individuals
15. Starting with where you want to end up and working backwards significantly increases your chance of getting there.
On those pencil mazes with START on the outer edge and END at the treasure chest in the middle, I always “cheat” and start at the end first, penciling the most efficient path from the end to the start. When you first get clear about what you ultimately want, the odds of you achieving that outcome go up significantly. And you’ll avoid those dead-end alleyways and wasted effort. Try it - you’ll like it!
16. Waiting until the other person changes is going to be a long wait
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is timeless wisdom - and many leaders and team members can get caught instead in complaint: “They don’t listen / help / support me. They need to change.” My learning is if you first give what you need, you’re much more likely to inspire others to get that back. Start listening to get others to listen to you. Give help to get help. Support them, and you may be surprised at the support you receive in return.
17. Being too busy driving to get gas is a self-correcting problem
I almost always get an uncomfortable laugh when I share this learning with richly scheduled leaders - I think because it helps them realize the too-busy problem isn’t outside of themselves. (Full disclosure: I often wait until my tank is almost empty before stopping for fuel!) In reality, you’re the only person who can decide and commit to taking care of yourself - and you along with others will experience most of the consequences of your commitment to renewal.
18. Most often when people aren’t doing well, it’s because they are overdoing one of their strengths
Perhaps you’ve given feedback on what someone does well, and then shared what they could do differently to help the team. I’ve noticed the same quality is often in both categories - attention to detail, drive, communication, care for others... More of anything is great until it’s not. The challenge here isn’t having your strength - it’s knowing when doing more of it starts detracting. The best way to know this is asking people to let you know when your strength is helping and when a little less of that strength would be more helpful.
19. Leading is learning - what do you need to learn next?
What gives me the most energy and satisfaction is not only helping others learn but having the chance to learn from others. The leaders I most admire are continually learning from everyone around them, and encourage others to do the same. My request of my colleagues is, when and if I say I’ve finally got it all figured out, that they gently usher me to the door and wish me well. When leaders stop learning, they should stop leading.
20. Having a guide can help share the load and make the journey much more enjoyable
My success to date is a byproduct of what I’ve been able to help other people achieve. And that success would not have been possible without the help of people who were willing to walk beside me, help me understand my contributions to situations, support me as I struggled with myself and challenging situations, raised my sights, and helped me make it here. I encourage you to find other people who can be there with you, shining light into the darkness, and helping bring out the best of you in service to others.
Which of these lessons reinforces what you already know, which lessons stretch you a bit, and which might not be for you? Determining your own path and summoning the courage to embark on your own leadership journey is not for the faint of heart - and the rewards can be great. I encourage you to take the next right step on your leadership path, today.
If a conversation would be helpful to explore what’s next for you, let’s make it happen.
