* This week’s post is written by Jana Sanchez *
It was the subject line of an email that finally undid me. The email from an insightful coaching site sat innocuously, at the top of my inbox, waiting to be read like all of its predecessors. Unlike any of the ones I’ve received before, this one immediately filled me with rage.
“How are you inspiring greatness today?”
You’ve got to be kidding! We’re in the middle of a global pandemic, navigating a whole new way to work, facing massive amounts of insecurity, and you want me to be inspiring greatness?! What else is it that I’m supposed to do today - create world peace? Because that feels about as possible.
Whoa, Jana. Breathe.
I’m not prone to anger in general, let alone rage. So why was an email from a trusted guide provoking such a fast and furious response in me?
A forced pause helped the rational portion of my brain kick in.
Feeling a little stressed, am I?
The 2017 Stress Report from the American Psychological Association found that the top three most common sources of stress are: the future of our nation, money, and work. Here and now, three years later, the outlook on all of those things has become uncertain and fluid for so many of us. I’m certainly feeling the squeeze.
https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html
And to pile on, with social distancing, I found myself in the bottom half of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs focusing first on my physiological and safety needs. Inspiring others is difficult when you’re not feeling a sense of connection and have deep concerns about health and safety for yourself and others.
The reason I had such an emotional response to the email was because my expectations of myself didn’t change when the circumstances of the world changed. I was still planning to operate in the capacity I had been, fully supported and therefore able to fully support others.
Somewhere back in the lizard portion of my brain, I recognized operating at the same speed actually wasn’t possible.
I don’t have the same level of mental and emotional bandwidth I’d had two months ago. We can’t simply carry on as if nothing has changed. I hadn’t changed my expectations of myself leaving myself in a quagmire of tension between old and new standards manifesting as anger and frustration.
The tyranny of expectations applies to more than just individuals.
Now is the time for teams to have important conversations about how expectations shift because circumstances have altered the course of your work. The disconnect between past and present may be showing up in how your team is working together. You may be seeing more passive aggressive behavior, flailing, lack of connection and overall, less engagement from your team. You are not alone.
There are two things leaders can do immediately to help clarify expectations and relieve pressure for people.
The first is getting a picture of where your team is currently at by asking three powerful questions:
1. What’s working well?
This will help you gauge what can carry on as normal, or become normal if you’ve found something that works better for the team. Perhaps your team has grown fond of daily check ins or virtual happy hours that have brought them all closer together. Don’t overlook the power in the positive.
2. What’s not working, yet?
You’re trying new things and some of them might work with just a few tweaks. Maybe you’re holding on to old habits no longer serving the team or the results you are hoping to achieve.
3. What’s missing or unclear?
This is a diagnosis question. Answers help your team articulate where the roadblocks are and the challenges they are facing.
It’s tempting to short circuit the process and just ask the last question so you can start working on things to fix. Don’t.
The answers to the first two questions provide the momentum for tackling the bigger issues together.
With this baseline understanding, then you can move to part two.
It’s time to work on creating a new set of expectations WITH your team.
As you are going over the responses to what’s missing or unclear with the team, get their input on how they might change things. Ask questions like:
What options do you think we have?
What would be most effective?
How do you think we could do that?
What resources could we use?
We’re all in this together and engaging your team in collaboratively setting expectations on how you all will operate moving forward deepens the commitment to the new normal.
I’ve come to the conclusion that while I don’t have to LIKE the new normal, outlining and clarifying expectations for myself during this time period has taken a heavy weight off my shoulders. I gave myself permission to work on inspiring greatness when I feel a little closer to normal. For now, I’m happy to simply be present and available to help people find their own new set of expectations.
If you’re interested in getting support to readjust expectations and create realistic goals as a team, let’s connect. We’re offering free calls to get you where you need to go.
P.S. - You’re invited to join me on Wednesday, April 29th for a Quick Tools for Teams session titled: My company went virtual and now we’re all passive aggressive. Help! In this one hour session, you’ll get the tactics you need to keep your employees connected, engaged, and motivated to support one another in times of stress.
