5 Things We Easily Forget When in Crisis

*This week’s post is written by Katie Huey*

Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

I was resisting that word for weeks. Crisis.

Surely, this wasn’t that. 

I begged co-workers to stop using the word and was encouraging clients and family members to call this pandemic something else - a chance to pivot, an opportunity, a disruption. 

I’ve accepted the five letters now and with a heavy sigh say, “Yes. This is a crisis.”

We’re changing shape in ways we won’t fully understand for years to come. Everyone we know is touched somehow.

It’s easy to panic when the fog rolls in and we’re seemingly stuck moving slowly through the muck for who knows how long. 

I haven’t been here before - in the midst of global pandemic. I graduated college on the tails of the 2008 economic crisis and remember flashbacks of 9/11 from classrooms in middle school (don’t roll your eyes - young folks have lived experience too). Very few of us have experienced crises on such a magnificent scale.

I have, however, experienced unexpected loss and the crushing panic that comes when worlds as we know them come crashing down. My grief journey gave me coping skills for living in uncertainty.

I continue to rely on these lessons as the world as we know it has flipped, flopped, crashed and morphed.

As we fall forward and perhaps stumble a bit, I want to share with you five things we often forget in crisis to help us take one just step more, together. 

1. We forget to say, “Well, this sucks.”

It’s natural for leaders to move forward with gusto. We want to rally our teams, encourage our friends, and support the people we love. When we forget to stop and acknowledge the challenge in our situation, our spirits know something is off. By first acknowledging the challenge, and total suck-age of this unfolding, we ground ourselves in the truth of what is. Calling things out with honesty and empathy - like admitting yes, this is a crisis - allows our brains and hearts to absorb some of the initial shock waves. 

Only then can we make decisions to move forward with what could be. 

This sucks right now. It’s ok. Say those two words out loud.

2. We forget to nourish ourselves

Some people are stress eaters. Others forget to put food in their mouths or their stomachs squirm at the thought of eating in times like this. Pay attention to your reactions and make plans to sustain your systems. For some people this will mean ordering take-out. Others are doing big grocery runs and keeping healthy snacks on hand. Set a timer to remind yourself to eat lunch, or put a note on the fridge to kindly remind yourself to step away except at meal times. You know yourself. Remember, your body still needs to fuel you. Drink water too. 

3. We forget to communicate

It’s easy to draw into ourselves when overwhelmed. Now is the time to over-communicate with your people. Have daily check-ins with your teams. Send clarifying emails and pick up the phone to check on those you love.

 We also forget to communicate what we need. Maybe you need to ask for help. Maybe you need a co-worker to step up and cover your 3 o’ clock. We forget people can’t read our minds and don’t know what we need. Now is the time to practice using your voice for your own self care and the benefit of others. 

4. We forget our resilience

Crisis brings who we once were to our knees. When loss came to my doorstep, the person I once was went missing. Grief was consuming and limited my ability to connect with others. The things I was focused on felt less important and survival took over.  In the weeks, months, and now years that have passed since, my world view has changed. I’m more compassionate. I don’t sweat the little stuff as much. I call my mom - every, single, week. 

It’s hard to imagine good can come of this. We have the choice to use our power, our experiences, and our hearts to care for one another. We can use our creativity to come up with new solutions and maintain connections or make new in-roads in places we never thought possible. 

Things falling apart provides space for new things to come together. Remember what brought you here and ask yourself, “What do you want to carry forward out of this challenge?” 

5. We forget we are stronger together

Leaders are problem solvers and solution seekers. You care deeply about the people you work with and want to make positive impacts in the world. Crisis adds extra stress and increases the pressure you feel to both solve problems and create solutions to situations changing on the hour. 

Remember, you are not alone. 

Leaders all over the world are facing similar challenges. Find a sounding board, pick up the phone, or ask a friend for twenty minutes. Ask someone to sit and cry with you. You are not alone. We will get through this, together. 

As a reminder, here are the ways Trebuchet Group is offering support right now. 

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Let’s schedule a conversation and see what can be most helpful next.