Recently I find myself irritated and frustrated with some members of my team. They don’t do things in ways I would. They waste others’ time bringing up irrelevant information and ideas. And they’re always needing something we don’t have enough of.
Is this just me or do I need to get better team members who are more like me?
Sincerely,
Need A Better Team
Dear Better Team,
I’m going to answer your question by starting with some ancient folk wisdom. If you’ve ever read classic folk tales, you might recognize this story or a version that’s similar:
An eldest brother, strong and self-assured, sets off on a great quest to defeat the ogre and win the kingdom. Confident in his own abilities, he ignores those along the way—passing by the talking fox caught in a trap, turning away the old woman who asks for bread, dismissing the strange little man who he meets on the path. They are different and odd and a waste of his time. He proceeds on his quest, yet can’t overcome the challenges in his way, and returns home defeated.
A second brother follows, equally certain that his own strength and approach is more than enough. He, too, dismisses those different from himself, and eventually comes home a failure.
Then the youngest brother—the so-called fool—sets off on the quest. Unlike his older siblings, he frees the fox and discovers the creature can sneak in and out of any castle unseen. He shares half his bread with the old woman, and she reveals she always knows where blows will land before they do. The strange little man? He has the ability to see the very spot where an opponent is most vulnerable. The youngest brother helps each of these creatures, not knowing how their differences might help, and one by one they pledge their unique strengths to his journey.
When the dust settles at the castle at the end of the path, the youngest brother has succeeded in defeating the ogre—not because the brother was the strongest, smartest, or most experienced, but because the unique contributions of the assembled group were exactly what was needed to overcome the unique challenges they faced together.
What Does This Have to Do with Leadership?
As leaders, we can fall into the same trap as the older brothers. We can unconsciously dismiss those who don’t think like us, who approach problems differently than we would, and who come with perspectives unlike our own.
Ignoring those differences feels efficient. It feels right. It’s reassuring. Yet just like in the folk tale, relying only on ourselves and our own strengths can leave us unable to deal with the real challenges we have yet to face.
Teams that don’t just include but actually harness diverse strengths, perspectives, and experiences are the ones that navigate challenges successfully time and time again.
This kind of teamwork is not easy. It requires significant levels of trust. It requires embracing friction and disagreement. And it demands that we as leaders actually lean into—rather than away from—discomfort and uncertainty.
How to Lead Like the Youngest Brother (or Sister)
1. Acknowledge your own unique strengths first
Ask yourself—what comes naturally to you as a leader? Are you someone who can see farther ahead than others? Can you sense when a relationship is at risk? Knowing your strengths—what comes easy to you—can help you see where you might be unconsciously dismissing others who have different strengths.
2. Get curious about other unique strengths
Ask yourself—What are the hidden talents of the team members around you? The quiet thinker might see risks before they become problems. The challenger may push ideas further than you imagined. Be intentional about seeking out different perspectives. They may be the missing pieces to your team’s success.
2. Make space for conflict and growth
Differences in thinking create friction—and they also spark new possibilities. Healthy conflict can encourage open discussions where different viewpoints can challenge and strengthen each other. Asking your team “Who sees this differently?” after you or someone else shares a strong point of view can help create the opportunity for people to share their different perspectives.
3. Align strengths to the bigger quest
Like the youngest brother’s allies, your team’s unique strengths will be most powerful when aimed at a shared goal. The magic happens when leaders intentionally connect different abilities toward a common mission. Asking “What does success look like?” and “What does our company need?” can help you and your team align efforts toward a common goal.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to Harness the Full Power of Your Team
Leadership isn’t about surrounding yourself with people who think and act like you—it’s about building a team with enough different strengths to conquer challenges no single person, style, or strength could handle. The best leaders recognize that diverse perspectives, experiences, and ways of thinking aren’t a threat—instead, they are a significant competitive advantage.
Kudos to you, Better Team, for having enough self-reflection to realize you’d like to have team members more like yourself. You have more awareness than those older brothers and are therefore less likely to overlook different strengths that could lead you and your team to success.
In summary, the best way to get a better team just might be by recognizing your own superpowers and limitations, being curious about others' differences, and embracing the full range of talent on your team.
Since this is both a noble and difficult challenge, if you would like some support to uncover and leverage the unique strengths within your leadership team—and you have a spare piece of bread—let’s talk.
