Dear What to Do Next,
First, take comfort. Literally billions of people are where you are right now. No one planned for a disruptive worldwide event.
Yet, as a leader, you’re held to a higher standard - people expect you to provide clarity and guidance in times of conflict and confusion. You’re expected to keep your head on straight which would be easier if you didn’t have an amygdala.
Maybe you’ve heard of the amygdala?
Sometimes called the Lizard Brain, this primal part of our minds is devoted to keeping us safe. It’s responsible for the infamous Fight or Flight response to danger. Attack or run!
The amygdala also has another response not as widely known: Freeze.
In Freeze, your Lizard Brain senses imminent danger from multiple directions and suddenly you’re paralyzed, not knowing what to do. Like when having a nightmare - you don’t know which way to go so you become stuck in place.
What to Do Next, I think you may be experiencing Freeze.
If so, here are some alternatives to help you thaw:
Give yourself permission not to know
My colleague Katie Huey says “When shock happens, we have to find ways to let the body process the blows. In times of stress, we need to give ourselves permission to not know what to do. “
As Anne Lamott says, “Of course you don’t know what to do. You’ve never done this before.”
Give yourself time, whether five minutes, or even a few days, to give your body and brain the space to absorb the “What the…?” questions coming up when unexpected events cause pain and disruption.
When people don’t know the exact right answer and don’t want to be wrong, they can freeze up and don’t say or do anything.
My mentor, Richard Reardon, taught me the power of giving people permission not to know. One of his favorite empowering questions when I was struggling was:
“I know you don’t know, but if you did, what do you think an answer would be?”
Whether I was wrestling with the budget, a project timetable, or the right approach with a colleague, I almost always surprised myself as thoughtful and helpful answers would come out of my mouth in response to his question. This only happened once I had permission to not have the perfect answer.
Give yourself permission not to know. Your mind will usually fill in the gaps with answers you didn’t realize were there.
Seek evidence you’re on the right track
Another handy feature of the amygdala is screening information you don’t care about while highlighting what you do want. Ever realize when, after noticing some cool new thing, you start seeing the desired item everywhere? Clearly that thing existed before, you just hadn’t noticed because your amygdala rejected it as unimportant.
Handily this effect works in reverse. You can intentionally prime Lizard Brain to look for the results you most want, and then create momentum with your efforts to get more of the same.
The question to get this going is:
“What’s the first evidence we would see that would let us know we were on the right track?”
Asking this question - to yourself and to your team - primes your mental pump. The act of asking builds a new path in your brain with the subtle assumption that success is possible.
Then, when you explore what evidence you would see, your amygdala uploads the instructions this is important so look for this which heightens your awareness.
Finally, putting a needed result out in front can trigger the how-are-we-going-to-go-do-this? problem solving to move you into action.
What’s the first evidence you might see indicating you’re getting unfrozen?
Pick one choice and do damage control on the other
My colleague Michael Clingan is an expert in decision-making. He’s helped companies and leaders around the world make the right decisions while managing very difficult choices without all the information.
One of the most powerful pieces of wisdom he shared with me is:
“If you’re torn between choices, pick one, and deal with not picking the other.”
This method works because it puts you in control of making a choice to intentionally move forward.
For example, you may be facing an unwanted choice to preserve your organization: let people go or furloughs.
If you could wave a magic wand, you’d do neither, yet doing nothing is not a responsible option.
Following Michael’s advice, here are the two ways you could go:
You choose to reduce the workforce by eliminating positions.
If you had picked furloughs, shared pain might have increased camaraderie in a we’re-all-in-it-together way. How could you handle the layoffs in a way that brings people together?You choose to impose furloughs shared by everyone.
If you had eliminated positions, you would probably have stopped doing some things. What could you say “no” to that would help everyone be more effective and productive while furloughed?
Make a choice and figure out how to reduce the impact of not choosing the other. Powerful.
If all else fails, flip a coin
Crazy advice? Works better than you think.
Assign heads to one option and tails to the other. Flip the coin and cover it. As you uncover the result, pay close attention to how you feel:
If you feel little to nothing to relief, go with that choice
If you feel disappointment, go with the other choice
This taps into your gut and intuition - and maybe some Lizard Brain too. Use your instincts to inform the least-worst option. Your reaction may reveal the best choice given what you know right now.
Wrapping up
What to Do Next, I hope this advice helps you wiggle enough to get the rest of yourself warm and moving. Sometimes talking the situation through with someone who supportively listens can do the trick. If so, let’s have a conversation soon.
Do your best, take action, and be ready to respond if the results aren’t what you expected. When you share your intentions and communicate clearly, it’s likely your team will give you the grace and understanding to move forward together. I wish you and your team well.
